“How can I help you?”
We all tend to use several standard answers when answering the phone. Especially when we are unsure who the caller is, we tend to be shy or polite on the phone. However, answering the phone in a funny way can start a healthy, fun conversation.
There are many clever and unexpected ways to make your phone calls engaging right out of the gates. So let’s look at our 50 favorite ways to answer the phone.
Table of Content :
25 Funny Ways to Answer the Phone
1. 911, what’s your emergency
When you were a child, you were always told to only call 911 if it was an emergency. So what would you do if you thought you’d called them by mistake? The panic that the caller will feel, followed by the relief when they realize it’s just you, will be a fun rollercoaster of emotions that you can both laugh about.
2. Your voice sounds funny
Good-natured teasing can be fun between loved ones. If you know the person calling, mentioning that they sound different can lead to funny or deep conversations about why that may be.
3. I’m sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected
This statement works best if you say it in your best automated voice. How do your friends and family members respond when they find out your phone number is no longer valid? Just be warned- if you’re too convincing, they may hang up!
4. Your soul is mine
How do you respond to a statement like that? Say it to your friends or loved ones when they call and find out.
5. Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?
It’s an honor to talk to someone as famous and meaningful as you! Pretend to be a big celebrity, and it’s a big deal that the caller gets to talk to you. If your friends are like mine, this will probably lead to some good-natured ribbing in both directions.
6. ____________’s phone, please hold
How long will your friends or family wait “on hold” before they tell you to stop ignoring them? After telling them to hold, see how long it takes. Want to make it more fun? Do your own hold music!
7. Fish Market, this is shark speaking
Once again, we know you are not a shark. However, this roleplaying can be fun with friends or children who are calling.
8. Why are YOU calling?
Do you have someone who calls you almost daily? Answering as if it’s surprising that they are calling can lead to a funny start to your conversation.
9. House of the Lord, God speaking
How do you respond if God is on the other line? Answer your phone with “House of the Lord, God speaking” and see what the person on the other side says. This is especially fun with friends and family members who like to play along.
10. Grandpa? You’re alive!
If a male friend is calling, this is a great way to throw them off. How do they respond if you think they are your dead grandpa, back from the dead?
11. Do I know you?
Asking your friend or family member this question can prompt a hilarious response from your loved one.
12. Pretend you called them
Rather than saying a simple greeting and waiting for their response, say, “Hello, I called you because…” and tell them why YOU called. This will confuse the caller and will start a fun conversation between the two of you.
13. Say “Good morning” in the afternoon
Saying “good morning” in the afternoon or evening can be a fun way to answer a phone call. It can lead to some great conversations about the day.
14. I’m sorry, you have the wrong number
If your friend or family member is calling, tell them that they have the wrong number. They won’t understand how they got your number wrong and may even hang up and try to call again.
15. Use extreme emotions
Choose one emotion, like happiness or anger, and use it throughout the call. Whatever happens on the call, never stop responding with that emotion. It will be challenging for you and fun for both you and the caller.
16. Sing a random song
Rather than saying “hello,” answer the phone and immediately start singing a random song. You could even try singing a song that is typically a duet and see if the caller will join in for the other part. Either way, the song you choose will prompt some funny conversations.
17. Copy whatever they say
Pick up the phone and begin copying whatever the person on the other end is saying. Keep repeating what the other person says until they give up and hang up. When they call back, answer and talk to them as if nothing happened.
18. Answer the phone like their boss
When you answer the phone, pretend to be their boss. Ask them why they are bothering you, give them an assignment, or ask them to come to work on a weekend.
19. I’m sorry, they are not here right now
When a close friend or family member calls, they instantly recognize the sound of your voice. You can have some good-natured fun by pretending to be someone else. When you answer the phone, say that you’re not there and offer to take a message. If they respond that they know it’s you, let them know they are mistaken.
20. Hysterical laughter
When you answer the phone, don’t say anything. Just laugh hysterically. Your friends and family will likely ask what’s so funny, leading to a fun conversation.
21. State your name and credit card number to verify your identity
Answer the phone as if you are their banker. Ask for their name, birth date, credit card number, or any other personal information to verify their information. They will find the situation amusing, and it’ll start an interesting conversation.
22. I have the money; just let them go
How will your friend respond to such as strange statement? Sell the story by adding a quiver of fear to your voice. This can be a great start to a hilarious and exciting conversation.
23. Sorry, I can’t talk because I’m dead
Tell your friend that you can’t speak because you’re dead and see what they say. See what fun responses your friends come up with when you answer the phone this way.
24. Hi, is Rebecca there?
There’s nothing better than answering the phone with a question to throw off the caller. This one is hilarious if you use the name of someone that neither of you knows. When they respond with, “who is Rebecca?” you can get creative and start an interesting conversation.
25. Knock knock
When they respond to this greeting with “who’s there,” your response is, “What do you mean? You called me!” This is both a hilarious knock-knock joke and a funny way to start a conversation with a friend or family member.
12 Interesting Ways to Answer the Phone
1. Hello from space, Alien speaking
To be clear, you’re not an alien. However, if it is a fun person calling, they will play along with this joke, and you guys can have an interesting imaginary conversation between Earth and space. This is especially fun if the person calling is a child.
2. I thought I was the last survivor
Pretend you are the lone survivor of a war, a zombie apocalypse, or an alien attack. When they call, act excited to hear from them. After all, you thought you were alone on this planet.
3. Don’t look now…
This is a hilarious way to answer the phone since you can’t see through the phone. How do you know what they shouldn’t be looking at? Answering the phone with this ominous statement will lead to some hilarious conversations.
4. Thank you for calling, you won the grand prize!
Using your best “game show host” voice, tell the caller that they’ve won a prize. Or, better yet, let them know they will win the prize if they can do one thing, such as answering a trivia question or singing a silly song.
5. Use a different accent
Answer the phone using a different accent. What better way to practice a new accent than by answering the phone using it? The foreign accent will also confuse your friends and family when they call.
6. Use a voice changer
Instead of an accent, you could also use a voice changer to alter your voice. You can download free voice changer apps on your computer or phone and use them to sound like a totally different person. When your friends or family call, they will be instantly confused.
7. Play the recording
This one takes a bit of planning. Call your friend on speaker and record their responses. Then, the next time they call you, play the recording of them answering the phone. They will be so confused when they hear their own voice. It is a great way to answer the phone and start a funny conversation.
8. Please leave a message
When you answer the phone, pretend to be your voicemail: “I can’t come to the phone right now. However, if you leave a message, I’d be happy to call you back. BEEP.” The caller will be amused, and you can enjoy listening to their unnecessary voicemail.
9. Thank you for calling the Time Travel Agency
Pretend to be from the Time Travel Agency and ask the caller what time they want to travel to. The subsequent conversation will be fun and exciting.
10. Hello, Spiderman here
Pick up the phone and pretend that you are Spiderman. Ask the caller if he’s in trouble and if he needs the help of a superhero. Stay in character as you continue the conversation with the caller. After all, who wouldn’t want to be a superhero for the day?
11. You will die in 3 days. What do you want to do before you die?
Without conjuring up too many creepy / murder vibes, why not start the conversation off with a thought-provoking question? Let your friend’s response start an interesting discussion that is different from the conversations you typically have. You can even keep the conversation going with other philosophical questions.
12. Truth or Dare?
If you’re going to talk to the caller, they will have to pass your test first. Ask them “truth or dare,” and then play out the game once they respond. However, if you answer the phone this way, make sure you are ready with some fun challenges!
8 Greetings Other Than Hello
1. Who’s there?
You can also ask, “who are you?” This is great when the person calling is someone you’ve known for a long time. Their answer to this question can lead to a funny discussion.
2. If you have something to say, say it quickly
If you are in a hurry, this can be a great way to get right to the meat of the conversation without wasting time with pleasantries. It can also be a funny way to address a caller who is just calling to chat.
3. Hi, long time no see
You can say this sentence to a friend on the phone you haven’t seen for a long time. Although you can’t technically see them through the phone, it’s a great start to a conversation. Moreover, you can say it to anyone who calls.
Said dramatically, “yellow” sounds a lot like “hello.” Answering with “yellow” will likely confuse the caller and make them laugh. Or, if they have a good sense of humor, maybe they will respond with “orange!”
5. Oh, it’s you
This statement can be used in several different ways. For example, you can say it as if you are disappointed because you were expecting someone else. You can say it as if you are excited because you wanted to talk to them. Or you can even say it as if you are surprised because you weren’t expecting them at all. The options are limitless.
Let’s bring back the 90’s catchphrase “Wazzup!” If the caller was paying attention to pop culture in the late 1990s, the throwback will bring a smile to their face and will likely have them respond with their own “Wazzup!”
7. What’s shakin’ bacon?
Sometimes, all you need is a fun way to say hello. This fun slant rhyme will put a smile on the caller’s face and start your conversation off on a high note.
8. Thanks, Bye!
When you pick up the phone, end the conversation instead of starting it. Once you say “bye,” stay silent as if you’ve hung up and see how they respond.
5 Sweet Ways to Answer the Phone
1. I missed this voice!
When your loved ones are calling, this can be a great way to start your conversation. It will make the caller feel appreciated and start your call on a cheery note.
2. You’re my new phone buddy
A phone buddy is a great way to be social from home (especially during the pandemic). Assigning someone as your phone buddy will allow you to have a longer, more meaningful conversation.
3. I’m so glad we are finally talking today!
You can say this to anyone who calls. It is perfect to use when you know that the person who is calling is someone you are missing. They likely feel the same way and will say so.
4. Hey, buster
This is an adorable and funny way to greet someone on a phone call. You can also use other silly nicknames, such as “pal” or “chipmunk.”
5. You’re awesome, and I’m so glad you’re in my life
You can never go wrong with love and a compliment. When your friend or family member is calling, start the conversation by reminding them how much they mean to you.
Answering the phone the same way every time can get monotonous. These fun ways to answer the phone will brighten up your day and the day of whoever is calling you. This is just one of many things people do for fun and something you can do to make your day memorable.