The estrangement is very common among the siblings, which are due to many reasons in a family. The siblings in a family can hate each other and can stop talking with one another due to different reasons. This rivalry among the siblings is starting from their childhood, especially among the sisters and brothers due to various reasons. These reasons can be like jealousy, competition, and fighting between brothers and sisters.
This problem usually starts after the birth of the second child in the family. This rivalry is very stressful for any parent. But there are a lot of things which the parents can do to help their child’s on this issue. All the parents need to develop cooperative nature among their children right from their childhood. You don’t need to worry about that; it’s very common among all the families. But you can prevent these kinds of things with some proper attention. So we can say that the parents can avoid these types of issues among the sisters and brothers.
In this article, we are going to list all the possible reasons for sibling rivalry, especially the cause and the solution of the brother and sister rivalry. Let’s see the different reasons and the solution of the brother and sister rivalry.
Table of Content :
- Start of brother-sister rivalry
- What are the Causes of the sibling’s rivalry?
- How can we resolve these issues among the kids?
Start of brother-sister rivalry
As discussed above, the sibling’s rivalry starts from their childhood, especially the rivalry among the brothers and sisters. But it’s usually among all the families. This rivalry starts typically with the stealing of the toys, borrowing of the sweaters, or crossing the boundary limits. It is observed that there will be a conflict among the siblings after playing the 45 to 60 minutes.
But these interactions don’t need to be always negative; in some healthy relationships, these interactions are also positive. But this is just the start of the rivalry among the sister and brothers, but there are some serious reasons for the intense rivalry among the siblings. These reasons usually belong to the parents of the siblings. Let see these severe reasons.
What are the Causes of the sibling’s rivalry?
As we discussed above, the rivalry among the siblings is just starting from the birth of the second child. Many factors contribute to that rivalry depending upon their relationship and the environment for their home. But there are specific reasons which commonly affect all the siblings. The following bellow factors are very common causes of the rivalry among the brothers and sisters. Especially these factors are responsible for the sisters hate for their brothers.
1. Individual interest
Sometimes parents start to compare their sibling’s rights from their early age, which mainly affects the behavior of the different siblings. We know every kid have some unique talent, interest, and hobbies depending upon his abilities and thinking. Every kid wants to show that he is separate from his siblings.
2. Unequal attention
Sometimes the children think that they are getting less attention as compared to their siblings. Especially sometimes the girls believe that the brother is getting more attention from their parents. So this is one main reason among the sisters and brother rivalry. They think that they are getting the unequal amount of the parent’s attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
3. New baby
Sometimes the siblings think that the arrival of the new baby in the family is also a threat for them. Usually, the newborn baby gets more attention from their parents due to which the siblings are threatened by the relationship with their parents. These can cause an abrupt change in the sibling’s mood.
4. Development stages
The development of your child also plays an essential role in the sibling’s rivalry, especially among the sisters and brothers. The development of your kids ensures that how early your child understands about himself and his role and place in the family.
Frustration is one of the main reasons for the sister’s and brothers’ rivalry in a family. A kid can be frustrated due to many reasons like the above points. But the kids can also be frustrated due to hunger, bored and tired routine, and start fighting.
6. Lack of playful activities
The siblings don’t know about the positive ways to get the attention of the parents and the siblings. So due choose the fight for this purpose. They need to know about the playful activities rather than the fight. This behavior grows up with their age as well.
7. Family dynamics
Family dynamics also play an essential role in the behavior of the siblings, especially the behavior of the sisters with the brothers. For example, if the family likes a particular habit and a specific kid is very special in this, he may get more attention as compared to the other siblings. So this will reflect in the behavior of the other siblings with this particular sibling as well.
8. Parent’s mindset
In some families, the parents think that the aggression and the fighting between the siblings are acceptable. This thing is considering normal in some families, especially the fighting between sisters and brothers. Some parents think that it’s essential to fight between the siblings to resolve the conflicts between them.
9. Parent’s time
Parent’s time is significant for the kids in any family. In modern life, parents do the job the whole day and don’t have the time to spend with their kids. Even the parents don’t have the time to share the meal with their kids. The different kind of stress is responsible for the parent’s lack of time. So this lack of time of the parents increases the chances of the kids engaging in different kinds of conflicts.
10. Stress in children’s life
The children have a different kind of stress in their lives, which usually decreases the ability of their tolerance. The other type of stress shortens the fuses of the kids. So the decrease in this ability leads them towards different kinds of conflicts.
11. Parent’s reaction
Parent’s reactions also play an essential role in the conflicts of the siblings, especially among the sisters and brothers, how the parents react after knowing about the different kinds of conflicts among their kids. If the parents ignore these kinds of things in the family, this can lead the siblings towards stronger conflicts. But sometimes the parents try to resolve the issues with aggression; this can also lead to a negative effect.
12. Age difference
Age differences can also create a minor rivalry among the siblings. Especially if you have a significant age difference, the younger one always has a conflict with the older one. But if you have a small age difference, then you can be close to each other as well, depending upon the environment of the home. Because of the small age difference, siblings are usually pass through the same kind of time in his life.
13. Grow apart
The kids are usually playing with each other during childhood and all the like the same, but when they grow up, they need to grow apart due to their personalities. They need independence in their psychology. This can be one reason for sibling conflict, especially among the sisters and brothers.
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How can we resolve these issues among the kids?
Above, we have discussed the different reasons for the conflicts among the siblings, especially among the sisters and brothers. But the parents don’t need to worry about that; it’s almost usual among all the families. Parents need to focus on some below points to resolve this kind of issue among their kids. Let’s see the different points which can help in the above cases.
1. Remove favoritism
Favoritism is one of the main factors which play a role in the child’s conflict. So the first and foremost thing for the parents to remove favoritism among the siblings, especially among the girls and boys. This can be an essential factor for the sisters to hate their brothers because the brothers are usually more favorable for the parents.
2. Don’t compare
Comparison is also one of the main reasons for the sibling’s conflict, as discussed above. So the parents need to don’t compare their different children. The parents need to understand that every kid has some unique abilities depending upon his interest and nature. Parents need to back their every kid according to their interests instead of comparing everyone with one another. For example, sometimes parents think that “if your brother can get good marks in any subject, why not you?”
3. Don’t label the siblings
Labeling every kid with any other sibling also causes conflicts among the kids. Sometimes the parents label their siblings and don’t give any chance to their kids to define themselves separately. Parents need to provide a fair chance for every sibling, including the girls and boys. Moreover, parents need to enjoy and boost every kid’s success separately.
4. Promote cooperative behavior
The parents need to promote cooperative behavior among the sister and brothers instead of the competition. The competition reflects the rude behavior of the siblings. The parents ask their kids to share the toys and other belongings with their siblings. This can be an entirely positive way to create a cooperative nature among the siblings.
5. Note the conflict time
The timing of the conflict is also essential among the brothers and sisters. The timing is usually around the meal or bedtime. So the parents can also change the routine accordingly to minimize the conflict among the siblings. Parents can ready the meal are snacks earlier as compared to late.
6. Parents need to be fair
To prevent any conflict, parents need to be fair among the older and younger brothers. Yes, the older brother has some more responsibilities due to which he has different privileges. So the Youngers need to understand that this is due to the duties of the older brother, and it is entirely fair. Even if the parents treat everyone equally, a time will come when the younger brother thinks that he is getting less attention. So the parents need to tell his younger kids earlier that the older brother has more responsibilities.
7. Plan fun activities
Parents need to plan for the different fun activities regularly for their children. When the parents plan these type activities, it acts as a buffer whenever your kids engage in any conflict. Kids usually can survive with anyone easily with which they have some warm enjoyable memories. These types of activities together are perfect for kids. Here are some would you rather for your kids. Play this game with them.
8. Give some space to each child
Each child needs a proper separate space for himself to interact with his personal friends rather than the siblings all day. Parents need to give appropriate space to every child. All the kids need decent chances for their things.
9. Helping the children’s
Parents need to help their children in any conflict. Sometimes parents don’t have enough time to participate in the kid’s conflicts, which can be responsible for some severe issues.
10. Spend some separate time with each child
Parents need to spend some time with each child separately. Parents can spend even 5 minutes with each child for the perfect results. They can ask each child about the positive and negative things about the other and help each child to resolve these issues. Parents can know the feelings of their different child’s about the family.
11. Plan family meetings
Parents or an older brother also plan a family meeting and take the suggestion of all the family members on different issues. Parents need to realize all the family members that their suggestions matter a lot. This is the time to share thoughts, built unity, and discipline in the family. For this type of meeting, parents need to decide on the agenda of the meeting. There should be some rules to make these meetings successful without creating any other conflict.
- Give a fair chance to every member.
- When a person starts talking, don’t interrupt him.
- Everyone needs to listen to every member’s opinion.
- Don’t need to make fun of anyone’s opinion.
Some commonly asked questions about the brother, sister rivalry?
How the sibling’s rivalry affect a family?
Sibling rivalry is not suitable for any family. Especially the aggression in the brothers and the sisters is not ideal for the future life of the brothers and the sisters. So we can say that the aggression in brothers and sisters is more damaging for any family rather than the bullying.
Is sibling rivalry is a normal thing for any family?
Yes, we can say that it’s normal for any family. You don’t need to worry about that; try to understand each child and try to minimize the rivalry among the child. There are very rare families in the world who don’t have that kind of rivalries.
What is a toxic sibling?
In the toxic relationships, the siblings don’t take responsibility for their part. In these relations, everyone thinks that there is no fault of him, and everyone blames the others.
What are the main signs of the sister conflict with her brother?
The main signs include the following:-
- Sister starts to blame the brother for every type of success.
- You don’t see the sister talking with the brother.
- Sisters always try to compete with his brother.
- Sister starts to talk about herself.
What are the main signs of the toxic sibling?
The toxic siblings have the following signs:-
- Whenever a toxic sibling heart you, don’t apologize for it.
- The toxic sibling always tries to use the other siblings.
- Toxic siblings always blame you even for their mistakes as well.
- The toxic sibling always criticizes the decisions of the other siblings.
- When you spend some time with the toxic siblings, you always feel exhausted.
Is the first baby is more important for the parents?
For the parents, all the siblings are equal. But yes, the elder brother gets the more attention of the parents as compared to other siblings. According to a study, almost 74 percent of parents like the first baby as compared to other siblings.
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We have tried to cover all the reasons for the sibling’s conflict, especially the rivalry reasons among the sisters and brothers. From the above discussion, we know that it’s almost normal among all the families. But it’s doesn’t mean that we can tolerate these kinds of conflicts among the sisters and brothers because these can play an essential role in their future life. From the above discussion, we know that parents can play an essential role in all these kinds of situations. So try to handle all the above situations with the listed solutions.